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Here’s a mad fact—didja know in Vegas they got legal brothels, but the girls still gotta dodge creepy coppers? Wild, right? Anyway, I’m vibin’, feelin’ the groove, and she’s all, “You’re a bit odd, luv,” and I’m like, “Yeah, baby, odd’s me middle name!” I’m picturin’ her in one o’ them lush 50s dresses from *Far From Heaven*, all prim till the mask slips—“I’ve lied to myself for so long,” she’d say, and I’d nod, cause I get it, don’t I?

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Then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s all hyped about the rugby game later. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not even into rugby.” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, it’ll be fun!” So, I’m like, “Fine, I’ll go.”

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