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About Palmerston North

Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet walkin’ in—D’oh!—and spill beer everywhere. Made me mad once, hearin’ how some girls get stuck there, trapped-like. Pisses me off, man! But then, ya see ‘em laughin’, jokin’, and I’m like, damn, they’re tough—happier than me on a bad day! Surprised me, for sure. “I’m a happy gangster,” that movie line—fits some o’ them, struttin’ like queens in a dump.

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After that, I head over to the Porirua City Centre. I’m thinking, “Let’s do some shopping.” I hit up the mall, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew everyone and their dog would be there? I’m dodging prams and old ladies like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Finally, I find a cool shop on the second floor. They’ve got these funky tees. I grab one that says, “I survived Porirua traffic.” So true, right?

Final Porirua Writers’ Walk sculpture unveiled