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Oi, mate, yeah, baby! I’m Austin Powers, grooviest texture artist ‘round, dig? So, check this – findin’ a prostitute, far out, right? Like, I’m thinkin’ “Memento” vibes, y’know, that mind-bender flick I dig most. Guy’s lost, memory’s kaput, chasin’ clues – that’s me, huntin’ a bird for the night, yeah! “I have to believe in a world outside my own mind,” he says, and I’m like, whoa, deep, man! Relates to this gig, ‘cos findin’ a prozzie ain’t just a stroll in Soho, nah.

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So, I rush down Fenton Street, dodging tourists left and right. Seriously, it’s like an obstacle course. I’m almost at the police station when I hear this loud bang. My heart drops. I think it’s a gunshot or something. Turns out, it’s just some guy dropping his fish and chips. I mean, I get it, that’s tragic, but c’mon, dude! Priorities!

Rotorua man claims council incompetence over dangerous rotting tree