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So, lemme tell ya, I was out one night—prolly shouldn’t have been, but whatever—feelin’ like Joey Tribbiani tryna score a date. “How you doin’?” I’d say to the air, practicin’ my charm, ya know? Streets were buzzin’, lights flickerin’ like Yubaba’s creepy lair. Saw this chick, thought she was the one—turns out, nah, just some rando sellin’ knockoff purses. Pissed me off! Wasted my smooth line, man!

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After that disaster, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the local park on Takanini Rd. It’s a nice spot, you know? Kids are playing, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to chill. But then, I see this kid with a kite. And I’m like, “Wow, I haven’t flown a kite since I was, like, five.” So, I’m standing there, reminiscing about my childhood, when suddenly, the kite gets stuck in a tree.

3 injured, man charged after 'altercation' in Auckland's Takanini