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Rarrgh! Once, prowlin downtown, saw this chick—legs for days, leanin on a lamppost. Reminded me of that SEAL team stealth—quiet, but deadly sexy. I was like, “Holy shit, she’s the target!” Heart poundin, palms sweaty, but damn, she quoted me triple! Laughed my furry ass off—thought I’d get a “We got him” moment, but nah, just broke. Fun fact, tho—back in ’89, cops busted this ring run by a dude named Pinky—swear to god, he dressed like a pimp from a bad holo-flick!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local library on the corner of Tawa St. I’m a critic, after all. Gotta keep up with the latest reads. I walk in, and it’s super quiet. I love libraries. But then, I see this sign: “No food or drink.” I’m like, “C’mon, who doesn’t snack while reading?” So, I sneak in my muffin. Rebel, I know.

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