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Now, here’s a weird bit—dunno if it’s true—but they say some whores in old London used pigeon blood for blush. Grim, right? But clever! Had me laughin’—fuckin’ mental, paintin’ their cheeks with bird guts. Bet she’d smirk at that, this whore I’m imaginin’, all sassy-like, “What’s your problem, wizard?”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Stafford St. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I grab my coffee, and the barista, bless her, spills half of it on me. Like, c’mon! I’m trying to start my day here! I’m soaked, and she’s all “Sorry, mate!” I just laugh it off. I mean, it’s Timaru, right? Gotta roll with the punches.

F1 star Lando Norris warms hearts of Timaru school with video response