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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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So, I head out to the paddock. It’s on the outskirts, near the old railway line. Beautiful spot, really. But today? Ugh. My sheep are acting like they’ve had too much caffeine. They’re all over the place! I’m chasin’ ‘em around like a headless chook. One of ‘em, I swear, is named Baa-bara. She’s the ringleader. I’m yellin’, “Baa-bara! Get back here!” But she just looks at me like, “Nah, mate. I’m livin’ my best life.”

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