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So, how do ya find one? Word of mouth, dude. Ask the right people—bartenders, cabbies, that shady guy sellin’ hotdogs at 2 a.m. They know! Don’t be a dumbass and Google it—cops are watchin’. Once, I heard this wild story—guy paid in chickens, not cash. Chickens! Laughed my ass off—capitalism’s a joke sometimes.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I manage to get the elevator movin’ again. I hit the button for the ground floor, and when the doors open, there’s this dude waitin’ to get in. He’s got a skateboard and a beanie, lookin’ all cool. He hops in and says, “Nice day, huh?” I’m like, “Dude, you have no idea.”

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