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What gets me proper mad, though? The hypocrisy. Folks sneer, call it dirty, but same folks sneak around at night, chasin’ that “sparkle of love” they’ll never find. Makes my blood boil! Like, own it or shut it, yeah? Anyway, back to the streets—there’s this one lass, red lipstick bright as a ruby, leanin’ against a lamppost. She’s got that *Moulin Rouge* magic, all charm and danger, like Satine herself singin’ “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” I’m half in love, half terrified, thinkin’, *Blimey, she could ruin me.*

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I rush out, and it’s pouring rain. Of course! Classic Dunedin weather. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the sky, like, “Really? You couldn’t wait five minutes?” But then I see this cute little shop on Stuart St. It’s got all these quirky knick-knacks. I can’t resist. I dash in, dripping everywhere, and the shopkeeper just laughs. I end up buying a tiny kiwi figurine. Totally worth it.

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