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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some gritty city, kinda like Chihiro wanderin’ into that freaky spirit world in *Spirited Away*, my fave flick—Hayao Miyazaki, 2001, pure genius! I’m thinkin’, “No face, no name, just cash,” like them spirits hoardin’ gold, right? But lemme tell ya, this ain’t no fairy tale—this is real, raw, and messy!

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The manager of the bar and brothel, Tabitha Van Belle, said the sex workers she managed had been in regular contact wanting reassurance “they.

First off, I grab a flat white from my fave café, the Good Oil. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sipping it, feeling all sophisticated, when I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a coffee monster, and I just laugh. Like, who needs a clean shirt anyway?

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