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Hiii, oh my Gawd, so listen—finding a prostitute, right? Picture this, nasal twang kickin’ in, I’m struttin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m in *Carlos*, that sexy Olivier Assayas flick—my fave, obvi! “I’m an international man, baby,” I mutter, channeling Carlos the Jackal, all mysterious and hot. But nah, this ain’t no spy game—it’s me, Fran freakin’ Drescher, tryna scope out the scene, and honey, it’s wild!

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I start measuring stuff, and then it hits me. I forgot my tape measure. Classic move, right? I’m like, “Great, just great.” So, I dash over to the local hardware store on Epsom Rd. It’s a small place, but they’ve got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter is chatting about the rugby game last night. I’m half-listening, half-trying to find a tape measure. Finally grab one, pay, and head back.

Is an Epsom renaissance on the way?