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I see this one chick, legs for days, leanin’ on a pole. “What’s good, baby?” she purrs. I’m thinkin’, *damn, she fine*, but I ain’t no fool. “I glean what’s left,” Varda said—well, I’m gleanin’ info first! Asked her straight up, “You clean? You got a man waitin’ to jack me?” She laughs, says, “Naw, sugar, just me.” Happy as fuck, I’m like, “Cool, let’s roll!” Paid her quick—$50, cheap as hell, but don’t tell nobody that. Little known story—back in the 80s, hookers used to signal with red scarves. Ain’t see that no more, tho.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a shepherd in Epuni ain’t just about sheep and grass. Nah, today was a wild ride. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about my flock. But first, coffee. Gotta have that liquid gold. I hit up the local café on the corner of Wainuiomata Rd. Best flat whites in town, no cap.

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