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But then you get the creeps, don’t ya? The punters—sweaty, baldin’ tossers who reckon they’re God’s gift. “I’m a real man,” they’d slur, like in the film—*“I’m a gangster, a free man!”*—but nah, mate, you’re just a sad sack with a fiver. Makes me angry, that does, the entitlement. I’d wanna scream, “Oi, you wanker, she’s not your bloody therapist!” Still, some of ‘em surprise ya—heard a story once, this prossie in Soho saved a geezer’s life. He was chokin’ on a kebab, she Heimliched him—hero stuff! Didn’t expect that, did I? Nearly pissed myself laughin’ thinkin’ bout it.
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So, I hop on my trusty steed, Thunderbolt. This guy’s a legend, but today he’s actin’ like a total diva. We’re out there, and I’m tryin’ to keep him steady, but he’s like, “Nah, I wanna run!” And I’m like, “Chill, bro! We’re not in a race yet!” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down, and Thunderbolt freaks out. I’m hangin’ on for dear life, thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna eat dirt in front of everyone!”
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