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Little known fact, yeah? Back in the day, mountain towns had “ladies of the night” for miners—kept ‘em sane, or so they reckoned. This one, she’s got stories—tells me ‘bout a john who paid in gold nuggets once, fuckin’ nutter. I’m laughin’, but inside I’m like, “Hannibal’d carve him up nice—chianti on the side.” Made me happy, her sass—girl had guts, y’know? Not just a body, a bloody survivor.

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Finally, I get through that mess and head to the Papakura Town Centre. I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s grab some brekkie.” I hit up this little café on East St. The barista, bless her heart, was super friendly. But then, she spills my flat white all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s all smiles, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who doesn’t love a good coffee shower, right?

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