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Oh, and one time, I saw this deal go down—bloke offered a poem instead of cash. A poem! Lass laughed so hard she let him off. Proper legend. Gotta love the chaos, the stories. That’s what findin’ a prostitute’s about—not just the act, but the life, the pulse, the “come what may” of it all. Now, I’m knackered, brain’s spinnin’ like a windmill. You get the picture, don’t ya?

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I decide to grab some kumara instead. I mean, it’s not the same, but whatever. As I’m paying, I spot this cute dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly in love. I bend down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and the owner’s like, “He’s a bit of a handful.” I’m like, “Aren’t we all?”

112 Jericho Road, Pukekohe East, Franklin