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About New Plymouth

Last week, prowlin downtown, saw this chick—red heels, smokin a cig. Looked tired, but tough, ya feel? “Where’s the love gone?” I growl, quotin Malick. She didn’t hear, just winked. Surprised me—thought she’d run from a big ol Wookiee! Rarrgh! Made me laugh, tho—imagine me, Chewie, hirin a prozzie? Han’d lose his shit, man. “Quiet flows the river,” I mutter, watchin her strut. Deep stuff, right?

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Finally, I get to my post. I’m standing there, watching the world go by. Rotorua’s got this vibe, ya know? The smell of sulfur in the air, the sound of laughter, and the occasional geyser going off. It’s wild. But then, I see this group of teenagers messing around near the hot pools. I’m like, “Hey! You can’t just jump in there!” But they’re all like, “Chill, bro!” Ugh, kids these days.

Rotorua teen swimmer Ariel Muchirahondo breaks Danyon Loader’s 33-year record