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Little factoid for ya—didja know escortin’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had “lupae”—she-wolves, they called ‘em—workin’ the streets! Wild, huh? Makes me wonder what Homer’d say—prob’ly somethin’ dumb like, “Mmm, wolves…” Ugh, that man! Anyway, this one escort chick, she told me—get this—she once got paid in *bitcoin*! I’m like, “What’s that, Monopoly money?” She laughed so hard she tipped me extra. Made my night, swear!

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After that disaster, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the local park on Takanini Rd. It’s a nice spot, you know? Kids are playing, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to chill. But then, I see this kid with a kite. And I’m like, “Wow, I haven’t flown a kite since I was, like, five.” So, I’m standing there, reminiscing about my childhood, when suddenly, the kite gets stuck in a tree.

Man charged after trio allegedly suffer stab wounds in Takanini