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I’d get mad tho—grrr—cuz some jerks’d prolly scam me! Like, “Gimme 20 bucks, Pat!” and then—poof—no girl! I’d be screamin’, “That’s not fair!” stompin’ my flippers. But then—happy vibes! Say I find one, she’s all chill, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. I’d go, “Are you my Charlotte?” ya know, from the movie—cuz I’m deep like that! She’d prolly laugh, “Kid, you’re nuts!” and I’d be all proud, blushin’ pinker than my skin!

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Whanganui, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, the sun was shining like it was trying to show off. I mean, c’mon, it’s Whanganui, not the Gold Coast! But hey, I’m not complaining.

Three-term councillor running for mayor