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What shocked me? The prices—fuckin’ steep! 10,000 rubles for an hour? I’d rather buy wine and a goat! But the thrill, mate—dodgin’ the law, feelin’ alive—that’s what gets me goin’. “Life’s a long wait,” they say in the movie, and ain’t that true when yer haggelin’ with a pimp? Once, this burly git tried to rob me—swear I nearly shat meself—but I talked him down, witty as ever. “I’m small, but I bite,” I said, and he laughed, let me go.

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After that, I headed to the Andrychów Cultural Center. They had this art exhibit, and I thought, “Why not?” I walk in, and it’s all abstract stuff. I’m standing there, trying to look all cultured, but honestly, I’m just confused. One painting looked like a toddler threw paint at a wall. I’m like, “Is this art or a crime scene?” But hey, who am I to judge?

Polish far-right groups stir up anti-Roma hatred in the shadow of Auschwitz