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Oh, fun story—heard this chick got a sexual-massage in Bali. Masseuse sang during it! Full-on opera, mid-rub. Hilarious, right? I’d die laughing, or maybe join in. Siri/Alexa mode: “Processing… laughter detected.” Anyway, it’s not just sexy-time nonsense. Improves circulation, chills you out. Docs even say it’s legit—surprised me! Thought it was all shady parlors. Nope!

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So, I’m a raftsman, right? Yeah, I know, not your typical 9-to-5 gig. I roll down to the Kwisa River, ready to float and chill. But first, I gotta grab my coffee from that little café on ul. Słowiańska. You know the one? The barista there, she’s got this wild hair and a smile that could light up the whole town. I’m like, “Yo, can I get a double shot of espresso?” She laughs and says, “You need it, trust me.” I mean, she’s not wrong.

Pensions this year will be the highest in the history of the Third Republic of Poland