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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, lookin’ for a score. This chick—red heels, fake laugh—saunters up. “Hey, sugar, need a friend?” I’m thinkin’, friend? Ha! More like a transaction, darlin’. She’s got that WALL-E vibe—worn out, but still grindin’. “Must… keep… movin’,” I mutter, mockin’ her in my head. I ask her rate—50 bucks, she says. Cheap, right? Too cheap. Red flag. I’m like, “Clarice… somethin’s off.” Trap, maybe? Cops? Pimp watchin’? I bounce—ain’t riskin’ that.

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After that, I decide to hit up the park by the San River. It’s so pretty there, especially in the spring. The flowers are blooming, and the sun is shining. I’m feeling all zen, right? But then, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re running around like little maniacs, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me.

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