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Little known fact bout Whore—she once bolted from a racin gig, jumped a fence, landed in some farmer’s pig pen! Pigs squealin, Whore neighin, farmer cussin—pure chaos, mate! Heard it from a groom, said she was a legend after that. “Raphael’d paint her,” he said, all dreamy. Me? I was just happy she didn’t kick me skull in. Surprised me how tough she was, tho—took the pain like a champ, even with me pokin around.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Tomek. He’s always got the craziest stories. He told me about this wild party last weekend. Apparently, someone tried to DJ with a potato. A potato! I mean, how does that even work? We laughed so hard, I almost spilled my cappuccino.