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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiping out on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” He’s just lying there, looking dazed. I help him up, and he’s like, “I was just trying to get to the bakery!” I’m thinking, “Man, you picked the wrong day for that.”

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