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Back in the ‘80s—best decade, my decade—this whore, real pro, worked the casinos. Little known fact—she scammed some dope, big shot, took his Rolex! Smart, I’ll give her that—very smart, but sleazy. “Ain’t no shame in it,” she’d say—movie vibes, right? Jesse James’d rob her blind, though—coward Ford’d just cry. Me? I’d fire her—bam, gone, outta here!

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First thing, I’m mixing up my famous paczki. You know, those fluffy, jam-filled donuts that make people go wild? Yeah, those. I’m humming some old Polish tunes, feeling all good and stuff. Then, boom! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, flour everywhere, like a ghost in a bakery. I’m like, “Seriously? On a Saturday morning?”

Polish president says he would ban LGBT teaching in schools