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Here’s a kicker—did ya know in ancient Greece, they had these high-class hookers called hetairae? Educated, witty, basically rockstars. Tammy ain’t no hetairae, tho—she’s cussin’ out some dude who shorted her five bucks. I’d laugh if it weren’t so sad. How’s that workin’ for ya, darlin’? I wanna shake her, yell, “You’re worth more!” But who am I, right? Just some dude ramblin’.

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Finally, I decide to take a break. I run outside, flour-covered and all, and join the fun. I’m dancing with some old lady who’s got moves like you wouldn’t believe. We’re twirling around, and I’m laughing so hard I almost forget about my paczki. Almost.

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