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So, I swagger up, all charm, “What’s yer price, love?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “More’n you got, trickster.” Cheeky! I’m half mad, half lovin’ it—nobody talks to *me* like that. Didja know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy, eh? Makes it sound poetic, not dodgy. Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “This is my glorious purpose tonight!”—bit dramatic, sure, but I’m Loki, I live for it.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, buckets of water! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I duck into this café on ul. Słoneczna. It’s cozy, smells like fresh coffee. I order a latte, and the barista’s like, “You look like you need this.” I’m like, “You have no idea!”

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