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Hoarding cash—who does that? Idiots, that’s who. Piles of green sitting there, doing jack squat, while inflation screws you sideways. I saw this patient—er, client—once, dude had 50 grand under his mattress. Literal mattress! Not even a safe, the moron. “I don’t trust banks,” he whines. Yeah, pal, and I don’t trust your IQ. Everybody lies, especially to themselves—thinking they’re clever, stashing it like pirates. Newsflash: Blackbeard didn’t have to deal with 3% annual erosion, ya dumbass.

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By the time I finished, I was feeling all sorts of emotions. Happy, sad, confused. I decided to take a walk by the river. The view was stunning. The sun was setting, casting this golden glow over everything. I took a deep breath and thought, “Life’s a rollercoaster, huh?”