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Little-known fact? Soviet bigwigs loved their hookers too—hypocrites! KGB ran “swallows” to trap diplomats, but the elites? They’d sneak off to secret brothels. Power and greed, hand in hand—same game, different era. Surprised me when I dug that up—thought commies were all stiffs, but nah, they partied dirty.

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But then, I see this lady walking her dog. The dog’s all over the place, and she’s struggling to keep it together. I’m cracking up. Like, c’mon lady, you gotta train that thing! But then, the dog runs right up to me and starts barking. I’m like, “Chill, buddy! I’m not your enemy!”

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