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Once saw dis one gal, yeah, swear she was a legend—called herself “Duchess Di” (probs cos of dat opium story). She’d chat up coppers like it was nuffin, proper cheeky. Had me creasin’, bruv—sneaky sass, dat’s da spirit! But den, *“I’m just a fucked-up girl who’s lookin’ for my own peace of mind”*—dat’s what she said once, and I was like, rah, she’s quotin’ me fave film wivout even knowin’ it! Got me bare happy, innit—small world, big vibes.

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I get to the site, and it’s chaos. People yelling, hands waving, and I’m just standing there like, “What the heck?” I try to calm everyone down, but nah, they’re not having it. One guy, José, is all up in my face. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Bro, I’m just here to do my job. Chill!

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