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Alright, folks, listen up! Here’s the deal – I’m your ol’ pal Joe, y’know, just sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not that I’m out there lookin’, nah, but I got stories, see? Back in Scranton, we’d hear whispers – guys’d say, “Joe, you won’t believe this!” – ‘bout shady corners where deals went down. Made me mad, y’know, ‘cause folks deserve better! But lemme tell ya, it’s like that scene in *Inglourious Basterds* – “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” – except here it’s more like, uh, “We’re in the dodgin’ trouble business!”

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We start chatting, and I’m cracking jokes, trying to impress her. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, frozen, while Luis and Ana are dying laughing. I’m like, “Great, just great. Aibonito’s finest moment.”

Killer of toddler in Aibonito sentenced to 50 years in prison