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But ugh, the creeps—those sleazy guys who think they own ya? Gross. Makes me wanna barf and scream, “I can see Russia, and it’s still classier!” Sarcasm’s my shield—findin’ a prostitute ain’t all romance, folks. It’s gritty, messy, and half the time, sad. Still, I’m hooked on the drama—like Moulin Rouge, but with worse lighting.

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After that chaos, we decided to walk it off. We hit Calle 4, where the street art is insane. I love how creative people get here. There’s this mural of a giant coquí, and it’s just so vibrant. I snapped a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta show off the local talent, right?

Urban Train expansion plans include route to Old San Juan