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About San Juan

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude trying to juggle. I’m like, “Really, bro? Juggling in the middle of a crowd?” But then he drops a ball, and it rolls right to me. I pick it up, and he’s all, “Thanks, man!” I’m like, “No prob, just keep it away from my coffee!”

Hirschi falls 52-33 at home to a tough Bowie team