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Now, get this – she’s got a scar, right across her cheek, proper mysterious. Word is, some john went berserk with a bottle, years back. She laughs it off, says it’s her “vampire bite” – cheeky nod to my fave film, yeah? “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” – nah, she’s a bloody legend, scar and all! Surprised me, that story – thought she was just a daft bint at first, but nah, she’s got layers, baby!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standing there in the dark, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” Everyone’s grumbling, and I’m trying to lighten the mood. I start telling jokes, but no one’s laughing. Tough crowd, man.

Mercedes Catano Obituary - Chula Vista, CA