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About Mayaguez

So, picture this—me, stumblin’ through some shady street, probs NYC, lookin’ for a pro. Not that I’d ever, but hypothetically, ‘kay? It’s gritty, it’s loud, neon buzzin’ like a bad hangover. I’m mad already—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, can’t they unionize or somethin’? Fun fact: back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had legit guilds—organized, health checks, the works! Now? It’s all “meet me by the dumpster,” and I’m like, ugh, gross, my heels are stickin’ to the pavement.

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First off, I hit up Calle Muñoz Rivera for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that café con leche that hits you like a freight train. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like a million things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM, not a buffet!” Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the day.

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