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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, sexual-massage, eh? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in paradise. I’ve seen brothels in King’s Landing with less tension! Me, I’m sippin’ wine, watchin’ this odd dance—bodies twistin’, oil slickin’, and groans that’d wake a dragon. Reminds me of that line from *Her*—y’know, my fave flick—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Ain’t that the truth? Folks payin’ good coin to rewrite their lonely nights with a rubdown.

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m drippin’ wet, but whatever. I see Luis, and he’s laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Dude, not funny!” But then he hands me a plate of those empanadillas. I can’t even be mad. They’re so good! I’m munchin’ away, and life’s lookin’ up.

Eagle Scout completes project for Veterans Services