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So, this bird, right, she’s out there, heels clickin, skirt hiked up. Dodgy blokes leerin at her—makes me fuckin mad! “Sharon, ya seein this shit?” Dunno her name, call her Ruby, yeah? Ruby’s got them tired eyes, mate, smokin a fag, countin crumpled notes. Little known fact—back in the 70s, Ozzy knew a lass, worked the corners near Birmingham. Said she’d sing “Paranoid” to herself, keepin spirits up. Fuckin wild, eh?

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Then I’m cruisin’ down Calle Conquistador, and I see this food truck. You know the one, with the best empanadas in town. I’m like, “Yesss, gimme that!” But the line? Ridic. I’m standing there, and this lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s all, “Did you hear about the new marina?” I’m like, “Uh, no?” Apparently, they’re building this fancy place for yachts. Like, who even has a yacht? Not me, that’s for sure.

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