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About San Juan

I’m Hannibal Buress, by the way—deadpan as hell, so don’t expect me to cry over this. Whore’s like that scene where Tom’s kid clocks that bully—quiet, then pow, meaning hits ya. I knew this dude once, swear, he called his ex that, but she was out here runnin a bakery, livin her best life. Irony’s thick, yo. Made me mad, tho—why’s it always gotta be a weapon? Like, chill, let her bake her damn scones.

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After the race, I’m walkin’ back through Guayama, still buzzin’. I stop by this little spot on Calle de la Libertad for some lechón. Best decision ever. I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ my weight in pork, thinkin’ about how wild today was.

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