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Fun fact—didja know prostitution’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had brothels called “lupanars”—wolf dens! How’s that for gritty? Makes me mad, though—society’s all “shame, shame,” but who’s keepin’ it alive? Hypocrites! Like in “Dogville,” where they’re all, “We’re good folks,” while exploitin’ her. Drives me up a wall—makes me wanna scream, “You’re all fulla crap!”

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First off, I hit up my favorite café on Calle de la Cruz. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ like a king, when suddenly, BOOM! A parade rolls by. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning. But nah, the whole town decided to party. I mean, who doesn’t love a good parade, right? But I was just tryna get my caffeine fix!

Altamira Reserve mixed-use complex under construction in Guaynabo