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About Mayaguez

Hiya buddy! Me, Patrick Star, y’know, the parachutist firefighter, gonna blab bout whores! Whore’s a funny word, huh? Kinda sounds like “roar” but with a W! I seen lotsa stuff jumpin’ outta planes, fightin’ fires, but whores? They’re a whole ‘nother beast! Like in my fave movie, *The Return*, that moody Russian flick from 2003 – them boys comin’ back to their dad, all mysterious and messy, whores got that vibe too, y’know? “Where’ve you been all this time?” – that’s a line from the movie, fits perfect for a whore who’s been out all night, ha!

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So, I grab my coffee and head to the office on Calle San Sebastián. I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is that fiesta. I mean, Lajas is known for its parties, but this one sounded epic. I’m picturing food stalls, music, dancing—everything! But then, my boss walks in. Ugh. He’s all serious, talking about deadlines and reports. Like, dude, can’t you see I’m trying to plan my escape?

Guatemala to rebuild highway destroyed by vo...