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Brothels tho, they’re wild, right? Back in the day—like, 1800s Brooklyn—there was this joint, “The Red Lantern,” real hush-hush. Girls there were sneakin’ sailors in, makin’ bank while the cops pretended not to notice. Little known fact: they’d hide cash in coffee cans—kinda poetic for a barista like me, huh? I’m over here frothin’ milk, thinkin’, “Did they tip in coins or what?” HAAA! Gets me gigglin’.

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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