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Oi, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Me? Born in it, molded by it, yeah? So, findin’ a prostitute, right—shit’s wild out there. Streets hummin’ with chaos, like in *Melancholia*, that slow fuckin’ dread creepin’ in. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst mumbles in that flick, and fuck, ain’t that the truth when you’re dodgin’ pimps and coppers? I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a gritty game—half the time you’re wonderin’ if the lass is a trap or legit.

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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