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Exaggeratin’ for fun? Maybe she was a philosopher-hooker. Who knows? Point is – dig deeper. One more thing… legality’s a bitch. Nevada’s chill, but elsewhere? Jail vibes. Fun fact: Japan’s got “soaplands” – loophole city. Bathhouses, but, uh, extra sudsy. Wink. Keeps it real, keeps it weird.

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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