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So, I stumble into this grimy port town—thinkin’, “This is my shot, baby!” Bars are loud, lights flicker, and I spot her—red heels, smokey eyes, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. My heart’s racin’, “Is this it? Am I *in*?” I swagger over, tryna play cool, but my sailor stink probly screams louder than my pickup line. “Hey, sugar, wanna make my night less ‘sea’-sick?” She smirks—oh, that smirk!—and I’m hooked. “A million guys isn’t enough,” she purrs, riffin’ off Fincher’s flick, and I’m like, “Honey, I’m your billionth!”

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I call it in. “Got the guy. He’s a mess.” They send a unit. While I wait, I look around. The beach is beautiful. Kids are playing, families are laughing. Makes you forget the chaos for a sec.

Portsmouth man who claimed he had 'no sexual interest' in children is caught with nearly 1,000 child abuse images