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Downside? Smells like desperation half the time. Stale beer, cheap perfume – grim. I’d be like, “Let’s innovate, air fresheners, yeah!” Total game changer. Reckon I’d fancy a pint with the madam tho – hear her war stories. “You’re a dancer, I’m a dreamer,” I’d say, nickin that line from "Fish Tank." She’d roll her eyes, guaranteed. Brothel’s a mad world, mate – dirty, loud, alive. Love it, hate it, can’t look away!

Is this the class I am required to take?

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I decide to hit up the beach after that awkward moment. Playa de los Tubos is calling my name! I get there, and it’s packed with surfers. I’m sittin’ on the sand, watchin’ these pros catch waves. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could do that.” But then I remember I can barely swim.

Quebradillas Pirates Evaluate Foreign Players Amid Losing Streak