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If I’m real with y’all—ooh, I’d snatch that gal up, sit her down with some cornbread, and say, “You’re better than this, darlin’.” But they out there choosin’—or maybe they ain’t, who knows? “Some men just wanna watch the world burn,” like Alfred said, and these streets? Burnin’ daily, halleluyer! Still, I can’t help but chuckle—some of ‘em got sass I admire. One time, I heard a girl tell a john, “Cash up front or bounce, boo!” I hollered, “That’s my girl!”

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After that, I decided to hit the beach. Playa Maria’s my go-to spot. The waves were insane! I’m talkin’ like, “Surf’s up, dude!” I grabbed my board and paddled out. I caught a few gnarly waves, felt like a pro. But then, outta nowhere, I wiped out. Like, faceplant in the water. I came up sputtering, and this group of tourists laughed. I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But inside, I was like, “Ugh, so embarrassing!”

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