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So, last week—true story—I’m cruisin’ X, scrollin’ for intel, and some dude posts bout this escort ring, high-end, discreet. Got me thinkin’, “What am I doing with my life?”—straight outta Sofia Coppola’s script! I dig deeper, find a link—boom, profiles, pics, rates. One chick’s bio says “Tokyo vibes, no sleep”—I’m sold, man, sold! Greed kicks in—I want the best, nothin’ less. Text her, set it up, heart’s racin’—half expectin’ a cop sting, half hopin’ she’s Scarlett Johansson’s twin.

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While I’m munching, I bump into Dona Maria. She’s this sweet old lady who sells the best fruits. She’s like, “You look stressed, meu filho!” I spill my woes about the crops. She just laughs and says, “You can’t control the rain, but you can control your attitude!” Wise words, right?

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