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Best time I ever had? Found this gal—sassy, red hair, smokin’ hot—outside a honky-tonk. She’s all, “You got the bread, I got the bed!” Straight outta *Inherent Vice*—felt like I was in a haze, man! We hit it off, laughin’, drinkin’—she even liked my dumb jokes! “Git-R-Done!” I hollered, and she cackled. Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘til she overcharged me—$50 extra! “Inflation, darlin’!” she winked. Surprised me, but I ain’t mad—worth it for the story!

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While I’m waitin’, I overhear some locals talkin’ about the festival next week. They’re all hyped up about the food, the music, and the dancing. I’m thinkin’, man, I gotta be there! I can already taste the lechón and feel the rhythm of the bomba.

Six pardoned Jan. 6 insurrectionists speak to an audience of about 30 in Salinas.