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About San Juan

Favorite bit? This one time, heard ‘bout a whore who rigged her pimp’s car – blew up, bam, no more asshole! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit? Sounds like somethin’ outta Del Toro’s head, all grim and glorious. “Give me the boy!” – nah, she took the whole damn game. Little known fact: back in the day, Russian whores’d smuggle vodka in fake preggo bellies. Genius, right? Fuckin’ wild.

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After that, I hit up Calle de la Cruz. There’s this little shop that sells the best coquito. I’m talkin’ creamy coconut goodness that’ll make ya forget your troubles. I grab a cup, and as I’m sippin’, I see this old guy tryin’ to parallel park his truck. It’s a disaster! He’s goin’ back and forth, and I’m just standin’ there, popcorn in hand, watchin’ the show. Finally, he gets out, throws his hands up, and yells, “I’m done!” Classic.

Dr. Ramon Roig Obituary - Timonium, MD