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About Myself
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Aye, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, behind the bar, slingin’ drinks, seein’ all sorts. Prostitutes, yeh, they stumble in, heels clackin’, eyes tired. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutters, watchin’ them flirt with drunkards. Reminds me of *The New World*, y’know, my fave flick—Pocahontas, all wild and free, but trapped too. “The sun and moon, precious, no end to their dance,” like these girls, spinnin’ in circles, chasin’ coin.
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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I spot this food truck on Calle 1. It’s called “El Sazón de Toa.” I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” I order a mofongo, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking about the kind of good that makes you wanna cry. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, bro, chill! I’m not sharing my mofongo with you!
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