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Now, *Far From Heaven*—Cathy, Julianne Moore, she’s all, “I’m trying to understand!”—that’s her line, right? Tryin’ so hard to be good, but if she met a whore? Oh, she’d clutch her pearls and faint! I can see it now—me laughin’, “Cathy, chill, she’s just payin’ rent!” Hah! Total exaggeration, but you feel me. Whores don’t get the credit—always the villain or the punchline. Surprised me, honestly, how much I started rootin’ for ‘em thinkin’ bout this.

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First stop, I hit up the Plaza de Utuado. It’s this chill park, ya know? Families hangin’ out, kids runnin’ wild. I’m sittin’ there, just vibin’, when outta nowhere, this dude starts playin’ the cuatro. Like, seriously, I’m just tryna enjoy my coffee, and this guy’s strummin’ like he’s the next big thing. I’m like, “Bro, chill, I’m tryna sip here!” But then, I can’t help it. His music is fire! I’m boppin’ my head, feelin’ all the feels.

Hurricane Maria: How rural Utuado, Puerto Rico, survived isolated after the storm